Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
