You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
