Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
whose parrot is this?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
