Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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