why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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