Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
