yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
