I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I need a beard to bite.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
