I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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