operation harelip BJ is a go
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
