I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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