you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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