My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
