new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
