Who wears a wallet chain?!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
