Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
