I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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