Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Mom said you looked used
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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