he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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