bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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