YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You ate ashes out of my bong
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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