She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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