the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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