Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
