operation have a gay friend backfired
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
