Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
