Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
