Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
