ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
