what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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