i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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