I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
