she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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