I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
