why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
