he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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