you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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