Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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