are you still at the devil's house?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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