What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
