I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
