just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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