If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
