She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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