Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The Olympian is in my bed
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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