Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
In America we eat man semen.
i will never coherently bang her
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
