I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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