I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
