Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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