She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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