my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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